What if soy milk is just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish? If money is the root of all evil, then why do they ask for it in church? Somebody’s mom has probably used you as a bad example to their kid. Why isn’t a group of squids called a squad? The taller a person is the more freaked out they are about a person taller than them. Your eyeball will probably never touch another eyeball. Your brain knows where all of your organs are but it won’t tell you. If you sweat in a sweater does that make you the sweater?Īny bookmark that cost more than a dollar is a waste of money because you could just use a dollar. If a fly loses its wing is it now called a walk? We check it to see if our standards have dropped enough since the last time we opened it. We don’t check the refrigerator multiple times to see if we can find new food. Lightbulbs were such a good idea that they became a symbol for a good idea. Technically your alarm tone is your theme song because it starts every episode.Įarth is a wet rock that has been sitting for so long stuff has started to grow on it.Ī person standing in front of you is technically the person standing the farthest away behind you. If you have two pillows the top pillow is using the bottom pillow as a pillow. If you’re the only child you can end the bloodline. Social anxiety is just conspiracy theories about yourself. If you k!ll a murderer the number of murderers hasn’t decreased. If you’re being chased by a serial k!ller you’re both running for your life. If you hit yourself and it hurts are you strong or weak? In order to fall asleep you have to pretend to fall asleep.Ī spoon made of gold is still silverware. We only say “hey stranger” to people we know. You could’ve walked past a missing person. The words “I’m dead” will never be a true sentence. Salt is the only rock that is socially acceptable to eat. Ice cream has bit more spoons than any other food. There’s probably someone out there that has a tattoo messed up by an earthquake. Watermelon candy is often green but with real watermelon, we never eat the green part. Why is “W” pronounced double “u” when it should be double “v.” We passed the anniversary of our death every year without knowing it. Why is something delivered by car called a shipment, but something delivered by ship is called cargo? “Don’t you dare!” sounds normal but “Do not you dare!” sounds weird to say.įinally is pronounced “final-e” and finale is pronounced “fi-nally.” You can eat half a pancake but you can’t cook half a pancakeīecause of the word, “indescribable” everything can be described. Now they put everything online and get mad if people don’t read it. People used to have diaries and would get mad if somebody read it. Normally you empty your drink from the top but when you use a straw you empty it from the bottom. “What” is a four-letter word with a laugh in the middle. There’s no way to prove that we all see the same colors. The loudest way to open a bag of chips is slowly and quietly. You spend your life just gathering people for your funeral. There are two e’s in bee but they’re basically silent. Monopoly would be more realistic if the person with the most money got to change the rules of the game.īabysitters are teenagers who act like grown-ups so grown-ups can go out and act like teenagers.Įach time you see a broken clock it tells you the time it died. You will never stand backwards on a staircase.īiting your tongue while eating is an example of how you can still screw something up with decades of experience. You’ve never seen an actual whole movie because you are always blinking. Knowing you have the next day off is more relieving than the actual day off.Įvery child deserves parents but not all parents deserve children. When you wait for a waiter you become a waiter. Why doesn’t glue stick to the side of the bottle or tube? The word “swims” upside down is also “swims.” You don’t know you’re asleep until you wake up.Ī middle finger is halfway to a peace sign. Future generations will not know why the telephone symbol is the way it is.
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